divulgence (reposted)
Oh alright - I'm publishing it. Brendan said I shouldn't be allowed to censor myself like that. ha! :) Thank god I can, cuz it's really a good thing I haven't posted some of the things I've wanted to here :)But in the end, it's all about expression and just getting it out there. It doesn't have to be right or perfect and dammit it's not, and I'm not - so whatever!!!!!!! So since you're all just so damn curious now, here it is. And one more thing, isn't it so obvious I'm PMSing?
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To all my friends and family I just want to say thank you. Thank you for still loving me even though sometimes I open my big mouth and am so opinionated and headstrong like I know whats best for you. I'm sorry if I've ever done this in a way that makes you feel like I'm not supporting you. I want to support you in the best way I can... and often I am only so outspoken with my feelings or POV because I want to see you happy and help you... but I know you're on top of it. I know you are doing everything you need to do... and that it takes time sometimes to get through the hard times and find the good again - and that nobody can tell you to be happy or make a change, it has to come from you.
So I'm here to say I'm sorry. I can listen without opening my big mouth. I have good intentions and I hope that you realize that I want nothing more than to see your beautiful smile shining back at me when everything is feeling more right in your world.
xoxo
Friendships are so important to me. I do my best to try to be aware of how I am with the friendships in my life... I try to be very clear w/ how I'm feeling and am willing to take responsibility of my own stuff... i.e. if someone's buggin me, realizing it could just as well be *me* and not just *them*. I give people the benefit of the doubt and try to see the good in them. Boy don't I wish everyone did this :)
I've done "the work" and still continue to do so everyday to try to be aware of who I am and how I am being towards the people in my life. It's not perfect, but I'm doing the best I can. Above all else, communication is key... so thank you for communicating with me.
