divulgence deleted / discussed:
A few of you saw the post I put up yesterday before I took it down. It was only up for maybe 15 minutes or so - but since then I've gotten a few IM's/emails from friends that did see it & wonder why I took it down.It's really no big deal I guess... I mean... I liked what I said, and I meant it, but my brain kept asking myself if I was just posting it because I was feeling some sort of displaced guilt... cuz really there is no *one* person that this was about - it was more of a blanket "I wanna make everything better for everyone, but I can't even though I try" sort of weird thing. A mixture of different people in my life here and there.
I dunno, it just felt a little too touchy/feely/deep and it just didn't feel as good to post as I thought it would, so I just decided I'd take it down. I think I felt like I was blaming myself for something I didn't do. Or trying to write my own gravestone of "she meant well, she really did try to be nice and supportive all the time". Ug... something about it just didn't feel right. Maybe deep feelings have been making me uncomfortable lately. Keeping it light and happy feels a bit more comfortable... the other parts just want to lie dormant for a little while longer. Ignorance is bliss.
I also felt like if one person actually had "this issue" with me, they should talk to me about it directly or vis versa if I'm feeling that I have, in fact, directly been that way with someone that I should go to them with my divulgence.
blaaaah. I need blogger therapy. hahaaa
