the little dance
I soo can't deal with men right now!! The little dance that a man and a women does when the first meet... the flirting, the poking fun, the whole trifling process of getting to know someone... it's EXHAUSTING!! GAWD!!! I'm just NOT in the mood at ALL lately. It makes me tired just thinking about it!
Girls somehow are different. I can hang out with girlfriends and not worry about it. Girls are comforting and bright and fun and easy. Men have a bit of a heavy weight tied to them for me right now. It's all complicated and gooey. Yes, all - I'm in what's called "the healing phase" :) hahaa. I welcome and embrace it!!! Girls, let's hang out! Men - GO AWAY! hahahaa. (all too harsh of a statement coming from someone who's actually been rather full of some serious sexual tention here lately)
Seriously though, I just find myself not wanting to deal and pushing away anything that comes close to what could be any kind of attraction. I'm enjoying this time by myself. I've got soo much to do on my own freelance and creative projects - and beyond that I am enjoying hanging out with the wonderful friends I have in my life right now.
I am however looking forward to a time when relationships feel better for me. Right now they just look grim. I'm almost bitter at others happiness... tired of hearing about how great people's lives are with their babies and their lovely couplehood. ug. I used to love that stuff too! But for now - in this span of today, this week, this month... I'm OVER it.
All this pushing away and selectiveness isn't too Willo-like, really. Anyone that knows me knows I'm way into meeting new people and I always will be. But lately it's just been so refreshing to be around friends who *really* know me. Last weekend was wonderful for this reason.
Hanging out with my dear friends David & Elana and their two kiddos was soo nice. Their happy little life is actually just lovely to me, cuz they're like family. I just adore D & E and love their little babies like they're my own. Then Saturday night spending time with Derek & Sandy just reminded me even more of the people I want to surround myself with. They're people who "get" what kind of energy they're giving off to the world and the people around them. People who like to have friends that are like family. Sandy and Derek are soo generous and their outlook on life and the goals ahead of them is so refreshing. They're laid back and just so full of love. What's missing in that picture? Drama, jealousy, pettyness, ignorance and selfishness. Nope, not missing that one bit - I can really do without that shit.
So that's where I'm at. I'm actually doing a lot better lately it seems. Getting more perspective on things by the day. My mood has been fairly mellow and even keel. The energetic, super-positive Willo still shows her face most of the time. But on the inside there's a wound healing and it's taking a lot of energy to pulsate around that and make it all better.
All you attractive men of my dreams, just hold off for a couple months already! Or a YEAR! hahhaaa
