sunday night
Tonite I skipped going to see Travis, as originally planned. I was going to meet up with Kristin, Jee & Jane... but was feeling really wiped out from going out lastnight... and just having a very busy last several days. So I took a bath instead. :) aaaaahh... very nice. I also got some work done for some clients... which feels really good - I have a jumpstart on the week!I feel like I'm a little off balance in my life right now. I've been insanely emotional lately... but I know so much of it has to do w/ changing BC methods, and having not gone to the gym in a month. I swear working out is like a mental health pill for me - so no wonder I've been all down & feeling off!
I feel like for the last several months, since my breakup, I've sort of had a layer of protection around my heart. Like I've been allowing myself to be very aloof... and remain on a very happy, light and carefree plane to enjoy this new chapter in my life.
However, recently I'm becoming more accutely aware of where I'm being aloof in my life... and with who. I'm starting to become more aware of my feelings of fear around allowing my relationships to deepen... feeling my instinct to protect myself further and run & hide or push people away.
I don't know - could be just that I need to get in the gym and level out my hormones and shit, but all I know is it's sure taking me by surprise! The good news is that I am in tune with it... and that it's all (fairly) normal. :) I have to trust myself now more than ever... and not be afraid to lean on my friends when I need to talk it out. It always helps to just get it out... I feel like if I can just spill it all and get it out of my head, then I can go back to the light, carefree me! :) haa..
The good news is Rebecca & I are hittin the gym tomorrow. yay! I just have to be careful of what I do, as my knee isn't 100% yet. But it'll be good just to sweat a little, even if it's upper body weights.
Ok - I'm sleepy. :) NIGHT!
